writing. it’s what i haven’t been doing for a while. I have a TON of excuses, though. When I ask myself why i haven’t been writing….I get all defensive with myself and end up having a split personality conversation. Let’s see: there’s getting settled in Texas, there’s laundry (mountains), there’s getting the kids around to activities, kids get sick and they need hugs and spongebob, I get sick and need hugs and spongebob, there’s going to the gym to get the weight off, reading books about getting the weight off, then there’s reading the recipes for the food for getting the weight off, dishes for eating the food, then complaining about the dishes…I got a million of these. So very many reasons not to write. Stephen Pressfield calls it Resistance.
Somedays I think of writing and my blog as, whooo hoooo! One of these days I’ll be all Pioneer Woman. I’ll be on 60 minutes talking about the evolution of my blog from a once a week thing to a giant thing with millions of hits and advertising money and children’s book spin-offs. We’ve all done that, right? Had the make-believe 60 minutes interview in our heads? Anyway, or maybe someone famous will stumble on my blog and think, “holy shit, this bitch is funny.” Then contracts will follow, with agents, and lots of swag. Being a stay-at-home mom has certainly made my make-believe life pretty active. Then other days, I’m like, oh yeah…i have a blog.
Parenting consumes the better part of your energy. I’ve quoted Alice Munro before about this, she said she never chose to write short stories, it was just that while raising a family, she couldn’t put together a fully actualized novel…she wanted to. Also, there’s a doctor, I think Brazelton, who says about parenting, “it’s not the quality time, or the sleeping time, or the eating time that’s tough, it’s the killing time.” So, I think I’ve backed up my point pretty well with thoughts from: writers, doctors, and myself. Sometimes the creative energy can just get sucked out of me.
And now both my kids are at school today, for the first time since the cold and flu season started. I have time. It’s not quality, it’s not sleeping, it’s not killing, it’s mine.
Anyway, what’s my point? I have no idea. I just wanted to type some words.
