Cuddlerific

This morning I woke up to son jumping into my bed and scrambling under the covers to warm up.  “Mom,”  he said, “I’m so cold.”  So, I suggested, “Maybe go put on some sweat pants and a long sleeve shirt.”  He jumped up, “OK!” He came back and climbed in and said, “Arrgh, I’m still so c-c-c-c-old.”  I encouraged, “How about putting some socks on too?”  “Oh!  That’s a great idea, mom.”  He socked his feet, came back, jumped into bed, and started a serious cuddle.  He shrugged his little shoulders and said, “Ok, that’s perfect.”  He looked at me and said, “Now, all I need is a little touch of you.”

Suddenly, all that crap I was already thinking about didn’t seem like such a big deal.

Goin’ to the chapel

The other night my husband and I were watching tv. There was something on about brides or honeymoons or something matrimonial. My husband looked thoughtfully at the tv and said, “On our 10th anniversary we should get married again.” A little confused, I responded, “…To each other, right?”

Angels are real – But they are pink and have backpacks

I dropped my daughter off at school this morning. She was resplendent in shades of pink. Complete with sparkles and rhinestones. She always has a little hop in her step and a twinkle in her eye – but today, there was a little something extra.

She hopped out of the car like a pink bunny. She said a big Good Morning to her teacher. Then she looked at me and I blew her a kiss. She put her pink glove up and blew me a kiss back, then she shrugged her shoulders up to her ears, giggled and winked. Everything froze for me. It felt like all the joy of the angels in heaven, they were smiling, and fairies were real and had showered me with pixie dust. I felt light, and full of love…

I had to sit there for a minute…I watched her in the side view mirror as she walked into school…There she goes, that’s my girl.

Marriage – The Ultimate Endurance Sport

I told my husband the other day that I was going to write a post on marriage. More specifically I said, I am going to compare it to a marathon. He’s said, That’s cool, blog on. Then even more specifically I said, I was thinking about that documentary, Running the Sahara, and how it compares to a marriage. He said, That’s not cool.  I asked, Why? He continued, What you’re suggesting is that marriage is a grueling marathon, run everyday, across a hot bleak dessert, full of doubt, where nothing good ever happens, until you come to the finish line and you win nothing? To which I replied, I see your point…How about the Boston Marathon? Done.

My point with this metaphor is that marriage is indeed work. Weddings, those are fun. We spend a lot of time and money at the party. But when the cake has been consumed, the guests are gone, and it’s time to wake up from the honeymoon – That sound you just heard? It’s the starting gun, are you ready?

Are you ready for the challenges? For the weight gain and loss, sleepless nights, job loss, chronic and unbelievably smelly feet (mine), poor investments, mood swings, and ups and downs in the course? But as people who run marathons know, if you are prepared, then with great work comes great reward…you can get over those challenges. And for marathoners the reward is indescribable. True camaraderie, a sense of accomplishment, runner’s high, and a wordless sense of joy. That’s what marriage is for me. As I struggled to describe my feelings to my husband, I realized that I didn’t actually have the words. I was trying to describe the challenges and the joy. I couldn’t explain how or why marriage is amazing, it just is.

A couple of co-workers of mine ran the Boston Marathon and said it was one of the most amazing experiences of their lives. When they talked about it to a group at my office, you could see everyone tearing up. They explained that just when you hit a stretch like Heartbreak Hill – you think, I’m not gonna make it. But then there is an almost transcendent sense of lifting up – people (complete strangers) all along the course telling you, “You can do it! You look great….just a few more miles!” Then once you come over Heartbreak Hill you see the skyline of Boston. Then you just run on…

So if compare my current marriage to a marathon – My first marriage then, must have been a sprint. Lots of energy and over very quickly. But that sprint trained me. And more importantly brought me here to Boston. And as everyone knows, if you want to really experience a race – ya gotta go to Boston. ‘Cause everything before that? Just training. Not only did it prepare me for the challenge, but also prepared me for the joy. The partner, the person who shares the challenges and the rewards…well, I just can’t find the words.

He noticed…

My husband just called me from Costco. He said, “Honey, your list mapping skills are amazing.” I think I just fell in love all over again.

This is my heart melting

It was the end of the day and I was plodding up the stairs. Bath time. I had thrown on one of my husband’s old flannel shirts ’cause I was cold. My hair looked like an experiment in static electricity. My face was puffy and I knew the circles under my eyes were showing.

My 5 year old son leaned over the banister and looked at me. He turned his head slightly…I was waiting for a loud whine or complaint to be hurled in my direction. Instead he said:

“Mommy, you look beautiful…”

Once upon a time…

I was reading some library books to my kids the other night. Some of the books were intentional picks, others were random. I like to do that, then we read them and decide which ones we like and which ones we don’t. It’s interesting to see what’s a hit and what’s not.

One of the random books I picked was called, “I Like Me.” By Nancy Carlson. It’s the story of a fabulous pig who is in touch with her awesomeness. She looks at herself in the mirror everyday and says, “Hi Good-looking!” Then she says, “I love my curly tail, and my round tummy!” As far as I’m concerned, that book was written specifically for me. I need to hear that message almost more than my kids do. It’s a reminder of how to be happy, how to honor yourself.

Kid’s books just cut to the chase that way. In plain easy language, they speak the truth. It really can be that simple… “I like me” “Let’s share” “When I make mistakes, I keep trying.” “I love me no matter what.”

I love getting those little reminders. Reading books to kids is a little like going to a wedding in that sense. It’s a reminder of what is truly important. Like a wedding is a little vow renewal for the guests – Reading books to kids is a reminder of basic emotions of kindness. We need to stir up those feelings in order to keep them present.

“I like me.” Yes I do.

The end

I’m pretty rigid about bedtime reading. We try to read every night before lights out. But, it’s not easy. Like tonight, I’m exhausted. Not much sleep last night. But here’s what I know: Reading at night is awesome, It’s an “I love you.” Because, no matter how crappy the day was. No matter how badly behaved and cranky the kids or I can be…It all goes away when they put their little heads on my shoulder. It’s one of the only times that my kids are in repose and I love it.

Reading doesn’t always happen though. If there have been tantrums, or we are just beyond tired, forget it. Give ‘em the old heave-ho and off to bed. There are nights I need that, they need that, and I get a big fat glass of wine.

But for the most part, we read. Oh, ’cause here’s the other thing. Pretty soon my kids will want nothing to do with me. Music, friends, sports, and video games will be my replacement. I hear it starts as early as 5th grade…

So, I’m gonna get those cozy cuddles now. Because some day it’ll all be, “Leave me alone I’m on the phone, drop me off a block before and don’t wave.” Therefore, even if I have to read “Diary of a Fly” 20 times, so be it. I want that cuddle account full now – so hopefully the withdrawal won’t be so painful later.