why i don’t tweet

Well, it’s not that I don’t want to.  I really really want to.  I would love to be a twitter superstar.  It’s just, it wouldn’t fit into my job description.  I’d have to tweet on overtime – and I like to spend my overtime sleeping.

See, there was this one day I was on the computer blogging about being a mom while my kids were in the other room fighting about something/everything/nothing.  My husband watched the scene for a while then said, “Um, there’s a difference between being a mom and blogging about being a mom.”  With narrowed eyes, I tore my gaze away from the glow of the computer screen and chuckled, “Oh, ha-ha.  Yes, I see why this is funny.  I’m typing while the kids are busy destroying each other, then I’ll blog about it instead of engaging.”  I get it.  Ugh, I hate it when he’s right.

So my theory is – If I had thrown twitter into the mix of my blogging, emailing and facebooking -  it would’ve indeed pushed me over the social media edge.  I wouldn’t actually be a mom anymore.  I’d barely be virtual mom.  I’d be reduced to a creature hunched over a corner desk in the kitchen grunting and typing while Rome burns.  And worse yet, my husband would be right.

So it was with much conviction that I canceled my twitter account.  Has anyone else done that?  Cause the warnings twitter gives you are truly frightening.  “You will never be able to use that user name again…again…….again….Once you hit cancel – that’s it.  You’re off the team.  That user name is dead to us.  Are you really absolutely sure you want to cancel your account and delete that user name for ever and ever and ever?” It wasn’t so much like a choice, “Meh, I don’t feel like tweeting anymore.”  It was more like a life altering decision of eternal second guessing.

But I did it, cause when I thought about it, what I would be doing is tweeting about my blog, then linking it on facebook, then facebooking about my tweeted blog, then I would be blogging about my tweets.  Just super media redundancy.  And I hate redundancy.

Also, I don’t have a portable means to keep up to date, AND that’s a good thing.  I have an old clam shell flip phone that pretty much looks as foreign as an Atari home system.  It has the kid’s schools, pediatrician, and emergency contact numbers and that’s about it.  If I had an iphone, (no honey, that’s not a suggestion completely void of veiling) I’m pretty sure that I would be much more involved on the internet and I’m not saying that’s a bad thing.  But, it would hobble me for the day to day stuff.  I think.  I’m pretty sure….

But then there’s the ipad……….ooooohOOOOOH ipad…………………….I’d just be getting it for the kid’s educational stuff…………..games.   It would be for the kids, truly.

Eventually though – I’m pretty sure there will be some kind of social media convergence.  Someday, we will all be plugged into, and able to read each others every word, and hear each others every thought….

Ya know, like the Borg (is my Star Trek showing again?)  Resistance is Futile.

Just one quick post, c’mon!

I used to be pretty much opposed to all forms of technology. Now, I look at my husband’s iphone with the glowing eyes of Gollum. You see, I have been captured by social media. I wants it, I neeeeds it, my preeeeciousssss.

I have also discovered that I am right on trend. Woo Hoo! I am never on trend. I still have skirts in my closet from the 80′s. But, I get this one. Here’s why. I am a SAHP. Stay At Home Parent. And this media has reconnected me to the outside world. Being a SAHP, means being disconnected. For example, I am home today with a child who has a cold. It’s freezing outside and I will not take her to a playroom to infect others. Sitting at my computer right now plugs me into a world that normally passes me by.

To that point, there was a scene in Six Feet Under I’ll never forget. The mom was talking to Nate’s widow (I forget names) who is not only a widow, but pregnant. The mom said something that I thought was so miserable and awful, “Being a mom is the loneliest job in the world.” I thought, Surely not! It can’t be, being a mom must be a magical experience full of rewards. How ghoulish of her to say that, especially to a new widow.

But all she was doing, was not sugar-coating a truth. Which is, being a parent who stays home can be isolating. There are days we run around, have fun, and laugh ourselves silly. But, there are also days in a row that we may not leave the house.

Having social media at my fingertips has kept me from feeling that isolation. I can reach out – laugh – blow off steam. I love it. Hopefully, I won’t become too obsessed. When my kids have to Facebook me to communicate – then I’ll know it’s time to cast the computer into the fire.